Phil Treagus-Evans named a pet hate on this site last week: the recruiter who dives straight in with "I've got these people, do you want them?" He was writing about candidates. I want to look at the other side of the desk, because the same habit shows up when a firm is trying to win a client, and clients spot it just as fast.
I'm not a recruiter. I ran a marketing agency for 22 years, and my job now is how firms find and win clients. So I'll leave how to run a desk to the people who do it. What I can talk about is what a client sees when a supplier walks in.
“The firms clients remember are the ones that asked before they sold.”
Nik Stapleton, Managing Director of Sapius Commercial Ltd
Most clients have been sold at before you arrive
The clearest feedback I've had on this came from a pitch my agency didn't win. Afterwards, the client told us that most of the agencies they'd seen just sold at them. We'd been consultative, and we'd taken control of that conversation. We still didn't get the work.
I'm telling you that because it cost us. Asking first doesn't guarantee anything. What it did for us was set us apart from everyone else that client had seen, clearly enough that they said so. And a client who's been sold at by five firms in a row ends up comparing the only thing left to compare, which is the price.
Why so many firms sell first
It's rarely arrogance.
Talking about what you do feels safe. You know your own services inside out. You don't know the client's problem yet, and a question can show that. So the credentials come out first, because they're the part you can't get wrong.
In a lot of the firms I've worked with, what gets counted is activity: meetings booked, proposals sent, calls made. Nobody counts the questions asked, so nobody gets better at asking them. A team rewarded for proposals sent will send proposals.
And there's the fear of the answer. Ask a client what they need and they might tell you it isn't you. Selling first puts that moment off, which is exactly why it's worth bringing forward.
What asking first looks like
"Listen more" is advice nobody disagrees with, which is why it changes so little. These are the things I'd look for instead.
Keep the credentials closed until you're asked. Open the first meeting on the client's business, not yours. What's changed for them this year, what a good year would look like, and what went wrong the last time they used someone like you. If they want your case studies, they'll ask, and then they'll be listening. A first meeting that's mostly about their business feels very different from one that's mostly about yours, on both sides of the table.
Ask what the problem is costing them. Not your fee, the cost of the problem. What happens to the business if this isn't fixed by the spring? That one question tells you how urgent it is, and it gives you something to talk about other than your rate. If it turns out to be "not much", that's worth knowing too, because a problem that costs nothing rarely gets a budget.
Write the brief back before you quote. After the first meeting, send a short note setting out what you heard, in their words, and ask what you've got wrong. It's the cheapest way I know of proving you listened. Clients correct it, and the corrections are where the useful detail is.
Say where you're not the right firm. If part of what they want isn't something you're good at, say so. Clients hear "we can do all of that" from everyone. It's the line that makes everything else you say believable.
Get them talking about their own customers. A client who's explained who they sell to, and why those customers stay, has told you what they value. That's worth more than any brief they send you.
A check you can run this week
Take the last three new clients your firm pitched. Ask whoever led each first meeting two questions. How long was it before we started talking about ourselves? And did the proposal describe the client's problem in their words or ours?
If the answers come back "a couple of minutes" and "ours", that client was probably sold at, however friendly the meeting felt.
The uncomfortable part
A client who's been sold at rarely complains. They compare prices, pick the cheapest firm that seems competent, and move on when someone cheaper turns up. It's easy to read that as a tough market. A lot of the time it's what the first meeting taught the client to value.
The firms clients remember are the ones that asked before they sold. Anyone can do it, it costs nothing, and the next first meeting is a good place to begin.
