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Stuart Gentle Publisher at Onrec

Do Opposites Really Attract?

Everyone’s heard the expression “opposites attract”, but is it really true? Well, according to the results of a personality profiling survey by Facet5, it is – most of the time

Everyone’s heard the expression “opposites attract”, but is it really true? Well, according to the results of a personality profiling survey by Facet5, it is – most of the time.

The study, which looked at 173 couples and compared them against the same number of randomly selected pairs, examined different aspects of their behaviours, using the “Big 5 Theory of Personality” around which the Facet5 profiling system is based.

In most cases, couples show that successful relationships are more common between two people with very different personalities – apart from one very important exception.

Facet5 measures an individual’s ‘Will’, ‘Energy’, ‘Affection’, ‘Control’ and ‘Emotionality’, which have been identified as the basic building blocks of people’s personalities. The Facet5 profile reveals a person’s underlying preferences, how they like to interact with others and behave, and how others may perceive them.

Will concerns a person’s drive and determination; Energy is their sociability and need for the company of others. Affection deals with trust and relationships, while Control, just as it sounds, reflects a person’s need to take an active role in what happens around them, their organisation, and need for structure. Emotionality is our overarching response to the world around us, our inner voice. Our Emotionality has a bearing on all the other factors, exaggerating or reducing the extent to which we under- or overreact to events around us.

So when it comes to love, which opposites will make the sparks fly in a good way – and which ones are the deal-breakers?

It seems that introverts can rub along quite nicely with extroverts, and the really organised, structured types can cope with a bit of chaos in their lives. The creative and chaotic among us can welcome a little order, and the bold decision-makers are often quite happy alongside those with much less conviction; in fact, often it’s these very different behaviours which attract us to each other. These differences can of course cause frustrations, but people who are very different in certain ways are often highly compatible.

However, there is one aspect of our characters that needs to be pretty well aligned for us to be happy together long term – and that’s our Affection. Perhaps it’s unsurprising that it’s the way we view our relationships with others, and the value we place on those relationships, that matters the most. Someone trusting, caring and helpful is much less likely to be compatible in the longer term with someone who takes a tougher, harsher view of others; someone who doesn’t jump to help a stranger or who is quite cynical in their outlook of other people. Those with a more pragmatic outlook may get frustrated perceived softness and an excessively forgiving nature.

It’s our values and our shared views of the world around us and how we perceive others that can make or break a relationship. So while many differences can turn up the heat on a relationship and even help it last, not all opposites attract.

Background

Facet5 is a leading personality profiling instrument which uses an in-depth questionnaire to provide a detailed report of an individual’s personality preferences to help them realise their potential. Personality profiling is widely used for organisational development, and Facet5 works with a network of global partners to help companies around the world to optimise performance through its insights and applications. It can be applied throughout the employee lifecycle from recruitment to succession planning, performance management to conflict resolution, to improve individual, team and organisational performance.

Designed by psychologists for the benefit of managers, it was first developed in the late 1980s by respected psychologist Norman Buckley and his team. It came about in response to client demand for speedy, practical information to assist with decision-making throughout the employee lifecycle. Facet5 provides a model and a language to explain how people’s behaviour, motivation and attitudes differ, and what can be achieved from that understanding. It has been designed with business in mind, and remains jargon-free and easy to apply to get real results.

More details from this research are available for more in-depth reporting.

For more information visit www.facet5global.com