Are you an Ideas Hamster or ready to Plug and Play?

When The Apprenticeís Simon Smith, got the chop from the BBCís hugely popular show and watched back footage of himself trying to manage a task for Sir Alan, even he admitted he should have been fired for some hideously embarrassing ëBrentyí moments.

So what other pitfalls should any wannabe apprentices trying to climb the career ladder avoid?

officebroker.com, the countryís leading online office brokerage business, has spoken to businesses across the UK to compile a top ten list of the latest cringe worthy office terminology ñ all of which should be avoided if you want to steer clear of looking like David Brent or being fired yourself.

The officebroker.com Top Ten

1. Calling a colleague a ë404í (as in the web error message 404: Not Found) for being completely useless.

2. Saying you will ëknife and forkí a task ñ in other words, manage it bit by bit.

3. Claiming at an interview that you are ëready to plug and playí ñ in other words you are fully trained and can start the job immediately without any support or training.

4. Offering to ëbookmarkí someone you meet at a conference (taking note of someone and their contact details).

5. Inviting colleagues or staff to a ëthought showeringí session ñ the supposedly now PC term for brainstorming.

6. Referring to your PC as the ësquare headed spouseí

7. Declaring that there is an ëelephant in the roomí or indeed a ë100lb gorillaí. What you actually need to do is be the one to admit that there is a big problem that everyone is ignoring.

8. Describing yourself as being ëbehind the curveí ñ in other words, claiming you have a grip on modern technology and life.

9. Talking about ëswallowing the frogí when tackling a particularly horrible task. .

10. Talk about spending the afternoon ëin the fieldí ñ everyone will know you are skiving!

ìThere is a lot of inane office terminology out there, picked up by ambitious people who adopt it as part of their language in a bid to fit in,î says Jim Venables, Managing Director of officebroker.com. ìBut we say thereís nothing like good, honest straight talking to see you on your way to success in business.î

ìWe are sure Sir Alan Sugar would cringe at some of the management speak heard in offices across the land on a daily basis, and the ëcringometerí in our own office certainly goes off if we ever hear anyone from officebroker.com attempting to use such terminology!î

Jim continues: ìMy business partner Andy and I find we ësing from the same hymn sheetí when it comes to straightforward honest business talk. Weíre ëbatting for the same teamí and like to ëwork hard, play hardí to ensure the success of our business.

ìWe use lots of ëblue sky thinkingí to come up with creative ideas and are always ready to ëbite the bulletí or ëgrasp the nettleí, often ëpushing the needleí to take things on to another level,î explains Jim. ìSometimes it feels like weíre having a ësalmon dayí and swimming against the tide, but we ëtouch baseí regularly to keep on top of things and Andy often gives me a ëheads upí on certain issues which, a lot of the time donít need ëa degree in rocket scienceí to overcome.

ìLike most companies we often find ourselves indulging in a session of ëblamestormingí if something doesnít go according to plan, but we are both such little ëideas hamstersí that we always ëget the ball rollingí again quickly!î he concludes.